Self-Portrait as a PhD Student in Three Parts

Part 1
research, journal articles, inquiry, chapters, theory, databases, methodology, Zotero, race, PDFs, power, Google Drive, language, positionality, cafes, reflexivity, observation, green tea, epistemologies, interviews, null hypothesis, lattes, surveys, inequality, IRB, permission, community

Part 2

dream, sit, read read read read, critique, eat, question, apply, code, analyze, write, draft, edit, submit, walk, sift through, stand, read apply code analyze write-draft-edit-run    breathe    sleep   wake   run    run run runrunrunrunrun

Part 3

one year on Zoom, no amount of running can give me energy anymore, I forgot to eat again, that’s not true—I don’t want to eat, my back hurts, my mind hurts, I’m not happy, I’m so tired of this PhD, six years, five years, three years, two, I can’t, c’mon just one more page, it’s midnight, fuck I missed the deadline—it was five hours ago, I spent six hours watching Suits last night so I could forget, I’m dizzy, nauseated, I need to drink more water—or maybe I just need to drink, where’s my fellowship money?, no I don’t feel like going, I just want to be alone, I just want to be done